Chest workout
I present workout plans for chest, abdomen and biceps. Nine workout plans for chest in 7 steps, three workout plans for abdomen in 5 steps, and finally three workout plans for biceps in 3 steps. All of these workout plans are explained in detail. Of course, if you really take care of your chest, abdomen and biceps, it’s easier to start exercising right now instead of reading this post.
Chest Workout Program I
Chest Workout I before
Chest Workout I after
Step 1: Take a real photo of yourself in front of your exercise wall mirror.
Step 2: Compare your chest with the chest from workout program II.
Step 3: Repeat as many times a day as you can: “I’m a weak man. There’s no woman who would like me as I am. There’s no man I can fight with. I’m finished.”
Step 4: Buy a lot of powders, tablets, supplements.
Step 5: Eat them 4 years as prescribed by the marketing department.
Step 6: Take the second photo.
Step 7: Repeat as many times as you can: “I’m happy. Every woman loves me. No man can resist my strength”. Roar 3 times.
Chest Workout Program II
Chest Workout II
Step 1: Be born in Austria.
Step 2: Spend 20 years in a fitness studio or buy some home gym machines for your own studio.
Step 3: Play a main role in Terminator.
Step 4: Become a fitness model and a media star.
Step 5: Become a governor of California State selling discount home gyms.
Step 6: Become a president of US.
Step 7: Roar 3 times.
Chest Workout Program III
Chest Workout III
Step 1: Start to memorize chess openings when you are 5 years old.
Step 2: Have good grades in math at school.
Step 3: Get your first PC when you are 9 years old.
Step 4: Open Chess in Games submenu.
Step 5: Eat only discount supplements.
Step 6: Don’t think about fitness models.
Step 7: Stay tuned.
Chest Workout Program IV
Chest Workout IV
Step 1: Don’t think too much.
Step 2: Focus on breathing.
Step 3: Don’t leave your fitness studio for 8 years.
Step 4: Smile any time you see a camera.
Step 5: Buy a book about insects. Become a fitness model.
Step 6: Use a lot of supplements.
Step 7: Don’t expect a happy sexual life.
Chest Workout Program V
Chest Workout V
Step 1: Go to Paris or New York.
Step 2: Study art.
Step 3: Become a fitness model.
Step 4: Don’t worry about cocaine.
Step 5: Stretch your neck on one of the pilates machines.
Step 6: Breathe deep.
Step 7: Hang your head back.
Chest Workout Program VI
Chest Workout VI
Step 1: Buy a teddy bear.
Step 2: Buy scissors.
Step 3: Cut the bear as on the image above. Think about Pamela or Penelope.
Step 4: Add two plastic strawberries.
Step 5: Turn off the lights.
Step 6: Light candles.
Step 7: Start to move slowly, very slowly.
Chest Workout Program VII
Chest Workout VII
Step 1: Go to the bathroom and take off your shirt.
Step 2: In the mirror compare your chest with chest from program IX.
Step 3: Repeat many times “Yes, I can”.
Step 4: Go to a breast augmentation clinic.
Step 5: Change your mind, go to Venezuela, it’s cheaper.
Step 6: Look again at yourself.
Step 7: Repeat as many times as you can: “He loves me, he loves me, he loves me”. Become a fitness model.
Chest Workout Program VIII
Chest Workout VIII
Step 1: Go to California.
Step 2: Wait to see her on the street.
Step 3: Repeat as many times as you can: “Yes, I can”.
Step 4: Meet her half way.
Step 5: Don’t think about fitness models.
Step 6: Do what you see on the picture.
Step 7: Use your teeth to check if they are real or come from Silicon Valley.
Chest Workout Program IX
Chest Workout IX
Step 1: Let’s be frank: you don’t need any chest workout program.
Step 2: You don’t even need to go to any school or any fitness studio.
Step 3: You can just be you, that’s enough.
Step 4: You don’t need to slightly open your mouth.
Step 5: You don’t need to put a gym machine between your legs.
Step 6: Don’t move. Don’t disappear.
Step 7: Tell me what’s your phone number. But silently. I don’t want the guy from other workout programs to hear it.
Abs workout
Abs workout program I
Abs Workout I
Step 1: Be born in Russia.
Step 2: Become a champion boxer.
Step 3: Choose a hard white stone.
Step 4: Make a sad expression on your face.
Step 5: Immortalize yourself as a fitness model.
Abs workout program II
Abs Workout II
Step 1: Go to Marrakech. Don’t look for fitness models.
Step 2: Find a night club called Monte Christo. This is not a fitness studio.
Step 3: Put on your best suit and shoes. Guards don’t allow anyone to enter without $100.000 cash.
Step 4: You’ll find her easily. The third belly dancer Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
Step 5: Proceed to abs workout program III.
Abs workout program III
Abs Workout III
Step 1: Don’t use condoms.
Step 2: The younger, the better.
Step 3: Don’t think. Act.
Step 4: Wait 9 months.
Step 5: Disappear a week later.
Bicep workout
Bicep workout program I
Bicep Workout I
Step 1: From childhood tense your muscles when you crap.
Step 2: When you are 17 make a decision: drugs, or fitness drugs.
Step 3: Eat a lot of syntha 6 during 10 years.
Step 4: Become a champion and a fitness model.
Step 5: Sue fitness supplement manufacturers and media for destroying your body and life. Win a lot of money. And you’ll need this money for doctors, medicines and hospitals.
Bicep workout program II
Bicep Workout II
Step 1: Be born on Miami Beach.
Step 2: When you´re young start to develop your mental capacities.
Step 3: Focus your mind on your biceps.
Step 4: Exercise with adjustable dumbbells or repeat many times: “Come on, be nice bicep”.
Step 5: Take a photo.
Bicep workout program III
Bicep Workout III
Step 1: Try not to commit suicide when you’re 16 years old.
Step 2: Life is shitty, but it’s all right to win the fight between having the will to live and the will to die.
Step 3: Be against everything. Repeat many times: “No”.
Step 4: Tattoo your arms, biceps and chest with paradise. Don’t forget about your chest. Soon you’ll be feeding babies.
Step 5: Find harmony of body and mind when you’re 38 years old. Stay tuned. Don’t mix with any fitness models again.