Home Gym Machines

A man exposing biceps after the show of mister universum or something similar

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Rowing, treadmill, ellipticals, stairmaster, multigym, power rack, weight benches – most popular home gym machines which I’ve found over the net, their prices and basic information about manufacturers or sellers.

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Hey, this is not about the cheapest fitness equipment. It’s about the most expensive. If you want something affordable, used or discount home gyms stop reading and move to another post. I simply don’t like the cheapest things. How do you feel when you buy cheap stuff? Like a shit, right? Anyway, if you don’t have enough money you can always start by pumping iron twice a day.

Or do you remember Bruce Lee? His muscles were really well defined and he didn’t use any of exercise machines mentioned below. However I don’t believe that any of my readers will have enough self motivation to practice kung-fu and Thai boxing every day during the next 20 years. So let’s start.

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Rowing

Rowing Machine for Scarlati listening

Rowing Machine

I’ve chosen a model with a very short and easy to remember name: Kettler X-Row E3 Rowing Machine. Manufacturer: Fitness Factory. Price: $2,399. Ok, they have something more expensive also but I didn’t like the photos so I’ve chosen this model. Why do I start with something not so popular like rowing machines? Because I’ve read that exercises you can perform on rowing machines are excellent for almost everything: arms, chest, stomach, legs and whatever you have more. So 15 minutes of rowing is like 5 minutes with other 10 machines so you save 35 minutes a day. More time for smoking, drinking, watching TV, and eating junk food.


Reading the description of this piece of art, I liked two things: they say the exercise machine is silent, so it won’t disturb you listening to Scarlatti when you exercise, and there is a remote control as well so you don’t have to stop your silent journey on the Thames or wherever you row. Yeah, you row at home, but for sure you have a big photo with a lot of trees and some water on your wall so let’s say it’s the Thames. This rowing machine is made in Germany so don’t be surprised that there is a lifetime warranty for the frame. There’s a lot of technical information with countless digits which I don’t even want to understand, but there is one more important thing: this exercise machine looks nice. It looks even better than some paintings of old Neue Wilde. They hated nice things for some reason.  Germans are so interestingly versatile. So this Kettler X-Row E3 Rowing Machine will look pleasant in your home gym studio in the front of exercise wall mirror, and you can just show the machine to the girls, you don’t even have to actually exercise, and you’re done, at least for the first night. The price is high, but I don’t think you invite the cheapest ladies to your intimate studio.

Treadmill

Diving Treadmill - A man running in the water multigym.

Diving Treadmill

The chosen model name: CYBEX 750T, made by Cybex. The “T” is probably for treadmill, 750 God knows for what. The price remains a mystery, I’ve read about 5 pages over the net about this exercise machine on the Cybex site and there is no info about the price so I assume it’s hell expensive, exactly what I was looking for. There’s more space to run than on other treadmills and the machine itself can withstand the weight of a 182 kg runner, about three times my weight, so I ask myself if three authors of this post can run on the same machine on the same time. No answer in FAQ’s. To be honest there was one thing I didn’t like about this treadmill, namely: they say that using of products of competitors can lead to injury. Ok, I leave it without comments. You can think what you want, they are your thoughts, not mine, I don’t care. As to the color I would choose the black frame. Now, the most important question: do you really need a treadmill in your home gym studio? Well, it probably depends where you live. If you’re a huge property owner with land in Yorkshire than probably is better to run outside, but maybe if you work as a broker in Helsinki, for sure it’s better to find a gym studio in your area. For everyone else, I recommend buying a treadmill and putting it in your own home gym. You won’t waste time in the underground to get to a fitness club and you don’t have to buy trousers for running in winter. Of course you lose the possibility of looking at women running on treadmills at the club, however you can always invite the lady you saw yesterday at the gas station to run with you at your place.

Ellipticals

I remember when I started to take care of my body and began reading about home gym machines I didn’t even know what exactly ellipticals machines meant. Something to do with stars? Ok, I attach a nice video from YouTube on my blog so if a reader from Brazzaville doesn’t know he can simply watch the video. The name of the model: Captiva Elliptical Machine; manufacturer: Yowza. (Nice company name, by the way.) Price: $2,000. Ok, they say $1,999 because they have an intelligent marketing director who has an MBA, so they put 1,999 instead of 2,000 because they know that human beings are irrational particularly when it comes to spending money, love, sexual attraction and so on. Ok, 1,999, not 2,000, American law system is so sophisticated that for sure there is a paragraph about death penalty if I don’t give you correct information. I’m a bit afraid of going to America because I feel that when I touch the ground there I will feel guilty from the first moment. Ok, I’ve been to Miami some time ago, nice Latin women on the Ocean Drive, however I don’t remember the several hours with an officer in the airport as something pleasant. I would say he was the biggest son of a bitch of all officers I’ve ever met in the airports. And it was long before 9/11. I write about it because this is elliptical – I come back on my ellipse to the subject. Captiva is one of the nicest home gym machines I’ve seen. It is not so cute that one can understand why some copywriters write “customers love this machine”, it seems to me it’s a serious deviation to write shit like this, but it’s true that the machine is really cute. Believe me, or just look at the photos attached. I really enjoyed reading that Captiva motion targets the muscles of rectus abdominus and serratus anterior. Latin language is so captivating! Imagine a fitness studio full of beautiful sisters of mercy in miniskirt on elliptical machines in a basilica in Rome all of them singing “Holly rectus, holly erectus, holly serratus, holly, holly”. I wanted to read something from the customers reviews on the manufacturer website but when in the first post a Melissa has written: “I was in love from the first time” I’ve understood that the Yowza’s copywriter uses a name of his girlfriend in the posts. So listen to me carefully, Yowza: you have very pretty products, you just need some more courage in advertising, and you can always contact me by mail or you can buy this idea of the church in Rome rectus serratus. Copyrights reserved from now to eternity, we are in a catholic church, after all.

If you prefer stretching search for pilates machines on this site.